churning
august 10, 2002
has it been 8 days since my last update? i've been meaning to write, i truly have. but you know how that song and dance goes. i'm finding that it's getting to be more and more difficult to churn out stuff and getting it down on virtual paper in a timely manner. if i could tell you how many stories, events, situations and such i'm ready to spew forth it would surprise you. there is no drought, just a lack of time and opportunity to really sit down and type. i'll catch up eventually. even if i am months behind.
one of my fave writers, banana yoshimoto, has a new book out entitled goodbye tsugumi. i haven't read it yet although i have fondled it in borders and have sniffed the clean pressed pages of the book while gawking at the obscenely steep $22 price tag. i wish i could have taken it home with me that day but i didn't. self control. tough but not impossible. but eventually i will have to add it to my collection with all the others.
from the amazon synopsis, here's what the book's about: [...she returns with a magical, offbeat story of a deep and complicated friendship between two young female cousins that ranks among her best work. Maria is the only daughter of an unmarried woman. She has grown up at the seaside alongside her cousin Tsugumi, a lifelong invalid who is charismatic, spoiled, and occasionally cruel. When Maria's father is finally able to bring Maria and her mother to Tokyo, it ushers Maria into a world of university enrollment, impending adulthood, and a "normal" family. Then Tsugumi invites Maria to spend a last summer by the sea, and a restful idyll becomes a time of dramatic growth, as Tsugumi finds love and Maria learns the true meaning of home and family. She also has to confront both Tsugumi's inner strength and the real possibility of losing her.]
and did you know that banana yoshimoto has a JOURNAL on her official website?? (yes, i'm obviouly orgasmically excited) it's as good as reading her books. do check it out, both her journal and her book(s).
another book i want to dig into as well is china dog: and other tales from a chinese laundry by judy fong bates. it's a collection of short stories by bates about the chinese in canada. here's the synopsis from amazon as well: [Vivid, richly textured, wryly funny, a collection of linked stories about a host of Chinese immigrants from the turn of the century to the present. A chorus of immigrant voices populates Judy Fong Bates's graceful and poignant first collection. Denizens of the ubiquitous small towns around Ontario, as far from their native land as can be imagined yet united by their proximity to the local Chinese laundry, her characters have in common their driving desire to assimilate, to fit in, to belong to a "majority" culture. But they are also people trapped by a certain cultural pride in confronting a world that may feign acceptance while at the same time reminding them that they are "other."]
can you believe it's august 10th already? and i'm still unemployed. i had initially anticipated myself to be working by april or may. but who knew the economic slump would be hurting so bad during this year. it's certainly not a great time to be jumping back into the job market after a nearly 2 year hiatus and people seem to have to constantly remind me that this is so. as if i don't read the newspaper or something. but i'm sure eventually i'll fit back in somewhere, someplace, somehow. and perhaps someone will certainly be understanding enough to overlook this 2 year career absence from my resume. well it's not like my brain got turned to mush or that i've become useless. i've continued to be educated and up to date with applications and extended learning. i've tried to stay current with things and not drown myself with hours of television and i certainly don't sleep in till noon daily. in fact, my life seems much more normal than when i was working.
people always seem to ask "what do you do all day? i'd go crazy if i wasn't working. aren't you bored?" it's interesting to hear how different people view the idea of not working. some think it's a handicap and they take pity on me with their sorrowful eyes and use words like "i'm so sorry to hear that. it's a tough economy. i hope you find something soon." whereas another group thinks i'm living in the lap of luxury by not working. usually these will come from women whose eyes glaze over jealously when they ask what i do and i say, "i'm not working at the moment." it's funny how different people interpret things differently. although i didn't say "i don't work" which obviously means, "i do not work" people think that's exactly the type of rich tai-tai life i live. and their usual reply is "how lucky!!!!" i prefer to not go into the details with them of why i'm not working and such because do they really care? i'll just let them indulge in their little fantasies about my unemployed life.
and although i must admit that i don't miss work enough like many workaholics out there, i do miss a certain aspect of being with colleagues and i think that's why i miss the most. but after two years of not being in the workforce, i find that life is even busier when not working than when i am. perhaps it's because you're faced with the fact that you stay within the same confines day after day, not really going anywhere, you have to improve on the things around you. and then you begin this whole mission of projects and things to get done and accomplish around the house. it's far from the glamourous life that many folks have conjured up in their minds.
but i chuckle and smirk when i think how people can find it so luxurious and lucky to be not working when there is no income.
