month 2
february 02, 2005
i finished my introductory private dance lessons this week and signed up
for 5 more hours. i'm not sure what i'm trying to achieve or what level of
expertise i want to get at but at the very least, i want to be a badass
decent social dancer - not necessarily better than anyone else out there but
just so that i feel comfortable enough on the dancefloor. so far, i've learned
the very basics of cha cha, rumba, foxtrot, salsa & the hustle. these
will be the 5 i will focus on primarily for the time being. but perhaps one
day, i'll get into american tango and other shit.
i've been looking forward to my weekly lessons and it gives me a good reason to leave work on time. i can vouch for the fact that dancing really allows you to lose yourself into something and for those moments when you're on the floor, you tend to forget everything else in your life. time really does stand still. i can feel myself starting to walk taller, straighter and with a better posture - something i've always had difficulty reminding myself to do.
aside from private lessons, i think i need to engage myself into group classes as well. there's a different feel & element to attending classes in a group setting. granted, most of the people attending these classes are about 20+ years older than i am, i find it pretty damn impressive that they can move like 20 year olds. i'm also finding out that there is no particular "look" to a dancer. there are some people at the school who looks nothing like what you envision a dancer to be but there they are doing JIVE no less. blows my mind.
it's hard to believe we're into the second month of the year. i thought i would not be able to get through month 1. yeah, it was that hard. but here i am into month 2 and i'm feeling a bit more optimistic about things. although things are far from copacetic, i at times feel a sense of peace wash over me instead of the constant struggle of internal turmoil. of course that's not to say that i don't struggle daily.
i finally, after much fear, have gone back to the gym regularly. when i was busy with the weddings a couple years back - i went to the gym daily but saw no results. that was one of the most depressing times to know how much effort you put into yourself but without any results. of course i now know that it's because i had PCOS at the time and it really screwed up my hormones & metabolism.
so this time i am really making a conscious effort to change my health around by taking medication, eating the way i should & exercising.
going to back to the gym again is a culture shock of sorts. i forgot how crowded it gets after work hours. and what about all those girls with a full face of make up on?
i have a lot more to say about this tomorrow.
